When I met the Mister twenty-three years ago, he was a little on chunky side and dressed very conservatively. During the week he wore a dark suit, boring tie, dark shoes. On weekends, his uniform consisted of khakis, buttoned down shirts and topsiders. I knew it was going to be a big date if he wore his penny loafers.
As the years went by, the Mister pretty much stuck with the same wardrobe recipe – only the sizes got bigger. We eventually started shopping in “specialty boutiques” for men otherwise know as “Big and Tall Shops.” He explained to anyone who would listen to him that he shopped there because he was “tall.” Kind of like when I tell my girls that I shop at Chico’s, not because I’m old, but because I’m “chic.”
Then… about eight years ago, the Mister started working out and eating healthy. Now I know what you’re thinking. No, he was not having an affair. However, he did have his eye on something pretty sweet. It’s called a sports car. I made a deal with him – if he lost 50 lbs. he could go and get his sports car. I guess those were the magic words because the next thing I knew I was married to Mr. Svelte and I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car the size of a cocktail olive.
So all of a sudden, the Mister started venturing out of his wardrobe comfort zone by wearing one of the thousands of pocket squares that I have been giving him for the past ten Christmases.
A few weeks ago, I found him in front of the mirror with his iPad in hand, following instructions on how to do something. I then asked him what he was doing and he told me he has been thinking about “trying out a bow tie.” It took the poor guy all weekend (and a few 4-letter words in the process) to figure it out and I must admit, my snickering was no help at all.
Finally, the Mister conquered the almighty bow tie! It was time to venture out with his new fashion accessory. What better place to try it out than… Church?
As we entered the vestibule, we were approached by one of the very nice gentleman greeters. “Y’all look like just the family to bring the gifts up to the alter!” My man looked at me with the biggest smile, pointed to his new bow tie, and whispered “magic!”
After the bow tie’s big premiere at church, we met #1 for lunch. She walked up to her Dad, looked him up and down, and proclaimed “Well, there’s a new look for ye!” Just like so many mysteries surrounding our beloved #1, we still don’t know whether she liked it or not.
So off to work the Mister ventured the following morning donning his new fashion accessory. I felt like I was sending my kid off to second grade with a new buzz cut. He works with a great group of people that all like to give each other a hard time every once in awhile. I remember one poor guy was taunted for days for wearing a sweater vest. I don’t know whether the guy ever recovered from it.
Hours later my phone beeped with a text.
he could have decided to try out a speedo.
He responded…maybe next year.